This morning we had the first Head Prefect’s Assembly for 2018. Head Prefect Digby Werthmuller used this as an opportunity to introduce the Prefects UPSTANDER campaign.
Amy Walters, Anti-Bullying Project Co-ordinator for Te Manawa Family Services, presented about the power of UPSTANDERS in situations of bullying behaviour. Young people who support others and model respectful behaviour can stop bullying. Everyone just wants to fit in, so if the norm is helping, kind, respectful young people, those who bully will change their behaviour to fit in. By remodelling positive behaviour and rallying around those being bullied, bullying won’t stand a chance.
UPSTANDERS are:
- Young people who support others
- Young people who stand up to others choosing the wrong behaviour
- Young people who get help when they encounter situations or behaviour they know is wrong
**What is Bullying?**
Bullying behaviour is serious and complex. It is a form of aggressive behaviour. Most widely accepted definitions of bullying behaviour are based around four characteristics.
1- Bullying is deliberate - there is an intention to cause physical and/or psychological pain or discomfort to another person.
2- Bullying involves a power imbalance- there is an actual or perceived unequal relationship between the person doing the bullying and the person being bullied that may be based on physical size, age, gender, social status or digital capacity and access.
3- Bullying has an element of repetition - bully behaviour is not usually a one off. It is repeated over time, with the threat of further incidents leading to fear and anxiety. Repeated acts of bullying may involve single acts on a person, as well as multiple acts on the same person.
4- Bullying is harmful - there is short or long term physical or psychological harm to the person being bullied.
**BULLIES only succeed under the CLOAK of SECRECY**
If you are being bullied, share your pain - TELL SOMEONE you trust.
** If you are aware of bullying behaviour – Do something about it, be an UPSTANDER.**
Being an UPSTANDER requires courage and this can take many forms. If you feel uncomfortable standing up yourself, tell a teacher, parent, dean, guidance counsellor or one of the senior management at school.
This is not ‘narking’ – this is standing up for the victims of unacceptable behaviour. To know about bullying and to do nothing about it puts you on a similar level to the bullies themselves.
Often the excuse is made “it’s just a joke” or “we’re just having fun.” Often for the bully it is a joke or it is fun. However, the victims feel very different to this. We need to respect each other and make sure that the behaviour we show towards others is behaviour we would be happy to have shown to us.
We ALL have an obligation to do something about bullying. It is not fair or right that some people have to experience this type of behaviour. If we act with integrity – in other words, if we do the ‘right’ thing at all times – there should be no bullying. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
A big thank you to Amy for her time today and to Te Manawa Family Services who provided booklets with information about bullying for all of our young men.
